Tomorrow Lilly will be a month old Friday, June 12th. It's amazing how quickly it went by, but on the other hand it feels like Ive had her forever-I was looking at pictures of my self before she came and wondering how I lived with out her.
Its amazing, it feels like yesterday I was at the doctors looking at that first ultrasound, watching her jump around and suck her thumb, how surprised I was to see how active she was in there-spending the day oggling the pictures and trying to come up with names. I am missing the belly a little bit, but then again I am reeeeaaally happy I can see my toes again.
My 'birth expirience' was pretty awesome, after 2 weeks of the early labor, constant contractions with no progression and going to the hospital or doctors office to be tormented and only told that there was no progression I just asked my doctor to get it done with and do a C-section!
On May 12th we woke up at 6am packed up the car and went to the hospital, I went in to get the IVs the first nurse sucked and basically drove the needles into my skin which hurt like hell, so a second one had to come in and she got it on the first try so I was much happier with her-Justin and the parents were there too, but only Justin was allowed to be there for when they were going to pluck her out.
At about 8:00 am the doctor came in and explained what I was going to expirience, that I'd feel a lot of pulling and unpleasantness-I was actually terrified so not listening to a damn word he was really saying and actually almost hysterical-So they took me in to get the spinal and I had to go in alone, I was so upset I couldn't have anyone there to really comfort me or talk me through because I'm a big wimp-the doctor told me to bend over but I was too tense so a nurse had to grab my shoulders and pull me over, and I decided that she could be the next best thing since I couldn't have anyone with me so I rested my head on her shoulder and hugged her.
Next thing I knew I was lying down, and the doctor said they were giving me something to make me less nervous because I was a wreck, they were touching my legs and I flipped out because I could feel it but apparently they told me I'd still be able feel them touching my skin-it felt like I was full of pins and needles-then another person grabbed my arms and strapped them down so it looked like I was being crucified! then a second later I got incredibly nauseous, I began flipping out because I knew I was going to puke and they would not let me sit up, they just put a basin in my face!
Right after I puked Justin kind of meterialized behind me and I was starting to feel the effects of the medicine that was supposed to make me less nervous-I felt like people were smacking my stomach, and then an immense amount of pain began shooting through my ribs-I sat there thinking "I'm going to hear my baby for the first time" then I heard her scream! and someone say "Girl born at 8:44" and Justin say "Aww shes all purple and covered in cheese!!!" and a whole bunch of people (which may have been just one) were getting in my face telling me she was beautiful and then Justin came up behind me with her, I just looked at them both and said "She's not an octopus...shes perfect!" then they dissappeared and my doctor began talking to me, asking me about my family-then I wanted to ask if my nips were going to remain purple-but I guess it came out totally different then he heard it because he just said to me "No Kristin, you're not purple you'll aways be white." I kind of accepted that answer because the super pain killers were kicking in.
After that I was in the recovery room, I remember very little, my parents came in to talk to me and I have no recollection, I just remember Justin coming in telling me they were going to bring in the baby so I could feed her. A moment later he brought her in, laid her on my chest, she lifted her head, looked right at me, 'talked' to me and smiled -as if she were telling me how happy she was to finally meet me-I was amazed how strong she was, I always thought newborns were just little lumpy sleepy things but she was very alert
Now its a month later, she is chunking up and growing out of her newborn look, awake more often, and bringing me so much happiness I love her so much She is still very talkative, and just really good at looking cute and cuddly, now she is beginning to respond to me, by smiling and cooing, there is so much to look forward to and so much I miss already.

Have done some new art work, eventually I'll scan them in, so my best works of art coming soon!

You can put up any random search on DA and find something related to Naruto, it's so damn annoying because Naruto isn't even that entertaining. Naruto is not a goddamn ninja either, ninjas are quiet and stealthy they don't wear orange! the whole show is so annoying and his whiney shrill voice makes my nervous system set on fire!

Any way every single day I see fanart plastered on here with that shitty show, it's annoying! it's so annoying it causes cancer, I search Kittens and find something with Naruto! RRRR I'm sick of seeing it, damnit I hate Naruto!

ah random rant of the day...The end.

So I actually went forward and got a bunch of things done for my wedding, I booked a photographer, rented tuxes, am working on finding a place. I'm going Saturday to find me a dress and I have like 5 million DJs calling me. So things are coming together nicely it works well.

I give up, people are a bunch of fuck-rats-no ones life is THAT hard and THAT fucked up that they need to treat other people like dog shit, EVERYONE has thier burdens but atleast I'm still nice to the fuck-tards that seem to take almost orgasmic pleasure in destroying me.

I'm about ready for a good plague, or an excuse for genocide so a good amount of these fuckin mouth breathers could finally take thier spot in hell that Satan's been warming up for so long. The problem is is that THEY NEVER DIE! THEY NEVER FALL UNDER BAD HEALTH, OR MISFORTUNE THIER LIVES ARE USUALLY PERFECT AND THEY JUST MAKE DRAMA FOR THE FUCK OF IT!

Don't believe me read a fucking celebrity news papers- all of those people are assholes, are they ever befallen with a bad illness ? even if they are it's NO BIG DEAL because everyone worships these assholes and they get the best medical care so even if they are dyingly ill they still can't bitch because thier hospital stays are probably similar to that of a day at the spa.Does ANY KIND of Misfortune other than "Fuckin waaah I broke up with my unrealisticly hot boyfriend, to date another unrealisticly attractive nameless asshole with more money now we're TOO RICH!! WAAA" Shut the fuck up and come take my place for a DAY, most people would probably jump out a window and slit thier throat on the way down. Why because people ALWAYS shit on me, my plans ALWAYS fail, my things ALWAYS break, and NOTHING gets better instead it gets fuckin WORSE!

thats not life thats fuckin torture!